If you want to be effective at flirting, then a great place to start is with learning how to give a woman a compliment.
A well-executed compliment is a powerful tool for making yourself more attractive to a woman. And the reason is simple--all of us are attracted to people who make us feel good about ourselves.
Now here's something you probably didn't know-- when done properly, an effective compliment-giver always raises his own stature as well as the person he's complimenting.
By contrast, an ineffective compliment-giver can come across as weak, insincere or even untrustworthy.
Obviously you want to be in the first category. Here's how to compliment women in a way that makes them desire you more.
Don't overdo it
Fawning praise upon a woman is never a good way to win her over. At best, she'll look down on you as desperate and needy. At worst, she'll see you as someone she can use for a quick ego-boost and lead you on until she finds someone more interesting (and challenging).
Here's my rule of complimenting--give just ONE compliment in any interaction and no more.
Paying just one compliment has the effect of communicating interest. Limiting it to ONLY one assures that you don't unwittingly signal weakness. Effective flirtation always requires that you interact as an equal.
Be specific
For a compliment to carry punch and appear genuine, it MUST be specific.
Avoid weak, insincere sounding compliments like, "You have the pretties eyes I've ever seen."
Instead say something that she's never heard before like, "I like those earrings. They really compliment your green eyes."
Do you see the difference? The first compliment is generic and way over the top. The second uses an observation about how she's dressed to back into a compliment about her eyes. You've effectively flattered her twice with one compliment.
Not too shabby, eh?
Be playful
A great compliment moves the conversation along and encourages flirtation. For example, instead of saying, "You have the nicest smile," try this...
"Awwww, well look at that. I bet when you were a little girl you got anything you wanted when you flashed that adorable smile."
Notice how the first compliment effectively dead-ends the conversation. "Thank you," is about the only response she has, right?
The 2nd way is basically the SAME COMPLIMENT, but it re-frames it in such as way as to encourage her to flirt and open up a little.
Also notice the "I bet" formulation that I've used here. This is a great way to be challenging in a flirtatious way, and you can use it in all kinds of situations.
Try it and notice how the women you use it on respond to it.
Make it about more than looks
I've just shown you a couple of ways to make purely physical comments seem to be about more than just a woman's looks... but sometimes the best compliment ignores looks entirely.
Try this one, for example, the next time you're around an upbeat, outgoing woman.
"You know, you just have really positive energy about you that's really attractive. Do you find that people are naturally drawn to you?"
That's a kickass compliment because it flatters on a deeper level and ALSO requires a response.
How will she respond? Well, she'll probably disagree out of modesty. It doesn't matter. Now you have a KILLER follow-up. Check it out...
"So what qualities do YOU think attracts people. How about you personally? What are you attracted to?"
See how you've just moved the conversation from idle chit-chat to something more intense?
Easy-peasy lemon squeezy, yeah?
Indirectly compliment yourself
We praise the things we admire in others. And when we praise those things, we are saying that these are qualities that are important to us.
With this in mind, it's a relatively simple thing to communicate something positive about yourself while paying a compliment.
For example, think about what this compliment might say about the person who gives it...
"You know exactly who you are, and I like that about you."
I don't know about you, but if someone said that to me, I'd be inclined to believe that the person who said it valued people who are down to earth and don't put on airs.
I'd also assume that the person who said it had these qualities as well.
It's important to remember that the goal of a compliment is NOT to make a woman feel good; it's to make her feel good around YOU.
It's a subtle difference, but an important one.
The next time you're talking to a woman you're attracted to try some of these techniques. You'll be surprised at how effective they are at escalating the conversation to something more flirtatious and intimate.
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